In this article, we share one family’s experience of that journey, from the moment they realised their father could no longer live safely at home, to the challenges, emotions and decisions that followed. Their story reflects what so many families face: the heartbreak of change, the confusion of process, and ultimately, the relief that comes with finding the right care and support.
For the family, the care journey began when their father, living with Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD), began to struggle with processing information and communicating clearly. FTD affects the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain, areas responsible for personality, behaviour, and language. Unlike Alzheimer’s disease, memory can remain intact, but the person’s filter, reasoning and responses change dramatically.
Families often describe this as a form of living grief. They are making difficult decisions for someone who once cared for them, while grieving the gradual loss of the person they knew. The emotional toll is heavy, a mix of guilt, fear, frustration, and relief.
“Our father had gradually disappeared since before his diagnosis. The father we once knew, a well-presented, well-mannered, caring businessman, has disappeared, and we are left with only glimpses of him as he now battles with FTD and his own denial of his illness.”
The family’s first experience of care came through a social work referral. The offer of professional help brought relief at first, but the decision felt rushed. “We were told we had to accept a date and a place. It felt like there was no choice,” they recalled.
When that care home later said they could no longer meet his needs, the family found themselves under pressure once more, phoning around multiple homes, facing funding restrictions, and trying to balance work and family responsibilities.
Such experiences are common. Without face-to-face assessments or clear explanations of care terminology, families can feel powerless. Terms like ‘one-to-one care’ (individual, dedicated support for residents with high needs) or ‘12-week disregard’ (a period when a person’s home is not counted in financial assessments after moving into care) are essential to understand, yet are rarely explained clearly. When communication breaks down, anxiety increases.
Care professionals hold a responsibility not only for residents’ wellbeing but also for the emotional safety of families. The family in this story described feeling immense guilt.
“I would urge anyone who works in a care home to think about the process the family and resident have gone through to get to you. It’s harsh, it’s upsetting, it’s impersonal. Your care, compassion and respect shown to the family and resident could help to make the hardest decision they’ve had to make a little lighter.”
Empathy and communication can make a profound difference. Taking time to explain care terms, visiting times, and what day-to-day life will look like in the home helps to ease families’ fears. Using clear language and explaining terminology shows respect and builds trust.
Families also value small acts of compassion. When the care team welcomed their father warmly and reassured the family that they wanted him there, the relief was instant.
“After finally finding some strength and with some wonderful support from a family member, we managed to find Dad the right care home.
Walking in with our father was the experience we had thought it would be the first time.
He and us were made to feel like the most important people in their day. They made the time to sit with us, to talk to our father, to show him the facilities and to just be a caring human in a very scary world, at that time, for us all. There was no pressure of signing documents at that time, the focus was purely on our father and us, and thankfully has continued to be so.”
This emotional support matters as much as clinical care. Research found that 70% of relatives experience stress or anxiety during a loved one’s transition into residential care, and over half say they don’t fully understand the care options available. Clear, empathetic communication is vital to reduce that stress and maintain dignity for everyone involved.
For care staff, it’s important to remember that families carry their own memories, emotions and expectations into the care setting. As one relative put it, “The carers see the person now, but we see the dad who looked after us.”
Recognising this emotional context helps to strengthen relationships. Families should be seen as partners, not visitors. Simple questions such as “How are you feeling about today?” or “What would help you feel reassured?” can help families process the transition and feel included in their loved one’s care journey.
Empathy, patience and clarity are not extras; they are core parts of quality care. They build bridges of understanding between professionals and families, ensuring that no one feels alone in what can be an overwhelming process.
After months of searching, the family found a home where their father felt settled and content, a huge relief after such an emotional journey.
Their experience is a reminder that behind every care placement is a family doing their best in difficult circumstances. The right care environment can offer peace, stability, and connection for everyone involved.
At Belmont Healthcare, we understand that care is not a single decision but a journey. We are here to explain, support, and ensure that every individual receives the compassion, clarity, and continuity they deserve. Our teams take time to listen, guide and reassure, helping families feel confident that their loved one is truly cared for.
Whether you need help with how to choose a care home, would like a quote or have a question, we’re happy to reply to you by email or call you back.
Simply fill in the form and a member of our team will be in touch, or you can call us on the contact number provided below.
